30 Lessons

“Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat…Imagine what you’ll know tomorrow…”

This evening the sun will set in West; and it will rise again at an ungodly hour tomorrow morning in the East. It has done this for as long as I can remember.  However, we are now on the precipice of an event.

In a couple of weeks, we will celebrate the New Year. This is the date given to symbolize the Earth’s completion of one full revolution around the Sun, which serves as a scale for our own existence. And as we approach both the new decade and the 1st anniversary of my friend’s 29th birthday, I am reminded of the many things that I have learned over the years.

  1. You have to learn to walk before you can run, but Darwin would agree that these are best learned in quick succession.
  2. Mickey Mouse, to a three year old, is a six-foot (tall) rat.
  3. Your mother makes the best birthday cake in the world.
  4. Your mother makes the worst asparagus in the world.
  5. Admit when you’re wrong.
  6. Practice random acts of kindness.
  7. You learn something from everyone you meet, so talk with strangers.
  8. Don’t be too concerned about what other people think. Often, you’ll find, they don’t.
  9. Wishes come true, not free.
  10. A friend will tell you that life is hard and things will get better.
    A good friend will tell you to stop whining, move one, and to not screw up again….repeatedly.
  11. Never sit too close at the theater. It takes away all the magic.
  12. Check your rearview mirrors on a regular basis.
  13. The sea is as violent as she is beautiful. So remember this…there’s a recovery diver, but there’s no such thing as a rescue diver.
    Diving wreckage
  14. It’s not nice to fool mother nature.
  15. “Computers are stupid. They can’t even do calculus. All they do is synthetic division.”
  16. Corpus omne perseverare in statu suo quiescendi vel movendi uniformiter in directum, nisi quatenus a viribus impressis cogitur statum illum mutare.
  17. The apple typically doesn’t fall far from the tree.
  18. “You’ll go on to do bigger and better things. You’ll work with highly educated people…Just remember that they’re highly educated and not necessarily smart.”
  19. Just because you can build something doesn’t mean you should.
  20. Measure twice, cut once.
  21. A morning without coffee is like sleep.Coffee
  22. “Behold the rain which descends from heaven upon our vineyards; there it enters the roots of the vines, to be changed into wine; a constant proof that God loves us, and loves to see us happy.”
  23. “Always drink gin with a mark, Kid. He can’t tell if you cut it.”
  24. A good, long walk will clear your head better than any drink.
  25. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. This is particularly true of monetary transactions.
  26. Women are crazy. Men are stupid.
  27. Patience is a virtue. Prudence is a skill.
  28. “While you sit and whistle dixie with your money and your power, I can hear the flowers a’growin’ through the rublle of the tower.”
  29. Never stop learning.
  30. There are no hard and fast rules and lessons in life…it’s best to think of them more as guidelines.

So, “Here’s to the New Year. May she be a sight better than the old one…” And may we all be a little wiser before she’s over.

Unexplained Footnotes


~ by castle2268 on December 17, 2010.

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